You are not defined by the boxes people place you: break them!
role models are not defined by "likes", "follows", or "retweets".
Neil deGrasse Tyson is an American astrophysicist, author, and science communicator. Since 1996, he has been the Frederick P. Rose Director of the Hayden Planetarium at the Rose Center for Earth and Space in New York City.
The center is part of the American Museum of Natural History, where Tyson founded the Department of Astrophysics in 1997 and has been a research associate in the department since 2003. Tyson studied at Harvard University, the University of Texas at Austin, and Columbia University. Dr. James Pinckney II studied general surgery at the prestigious Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles after graduating from Baylor College of Medicine in Houston.
He switched from general surgery to family medicine in order to pursue his dream of transforming healthcare delivery in America. Dr. James completed his training in family medicine at Methodist Charlton Medical Center in Dallas. He is a board certified family physician licensed in the state of Texas and California. John Wendell Thompson is an American technology executive, serving as the current Chairman of Microsoft. He is a former chief executive of Virtual Instruments, a Vice-President at IBM and the former chief executive of Symantec.
Thompson later became an independent Director on the Board of Microsoft, and on February 4, 2014, he was named the Chairman of the Board. Kenneth Carleton Frazier is an American business executive. He is the chairman and CEO of the pharmaceutical company Merck & Co. (known as MSD outside of North America). After joining Merck & Co. as general counsel, he directed the company's defense against litigation over the anti-inflammatory drug Vioxx. Frazier is the first black man to lead a major pharmaceutical company.
He was elected to the American Philosophical Society in 2018. |
I was sifting through the news when I noticed a story about some Instagram influencer who died attempting to get the perfect selfie. This made me reflect on the conditions our society has created that pushes people to extremely dangerous situations in the pursuit of social acceptance. The story I saw was just one of many that I found when I Googled the subject, meaning that tens of thousands of people have did things like this resulting in a small percentage losing their lives. The question I asked myself was why?
Most humans crave social acceptance. The creation of social media has taken this human factor to an obsessive level due to the instant gratification the “likes”, “retweets”, and “follows” create. The addiction is more powerful than any drug on the market. In fact, the epidemic is worse than the issues we face with heroin because every person who has a social media account has essentially accepted the toxic culture that follows it as normal. Most people will separate themselves from heroin addicts because of the toxicity of their addictions but these same people will trash their “friends on social media at every turn. The culture has become so toxic today that people are living out their social media personalities in real life while other people stand around with iPhone in hand to record it all in the hopes of a viral video. This behavior is all addiction and should be shunned by society but instead it is being accepted by all. What does this have to do with boxes? Society is essentially a box that we all live within while accepting the societal norms, laws, cultures, and other humanistic factors that make us who we are today. Society has traditionally forced people to operate within a set of values based on the group norms of the culture that all the people in geographic areas followed. Today social media has created a network of people from all over the world who can interact while experiencing the differences of other cultures. Social media does not have societal controls, save the political biases of the creators against very specific groups to which they personally disagree, allowing people to create their own rules of engagement for online interactions. Society was previously the box to which people operated their daily lives. The culture of the area would dictate the societal norms for those specific people creating their own cultural diversity. Social media changed this by exposing all people to any culture the world has to offer. The experience of diverse cultures is a positive influence if experienced in the right way. The transition has now created a worldly box that all social media users reside within but without the rules of a society to ensure the experience is not abused. People traditionally become the influences that they surround themselves with in their daily lives. They become the information they consume. Every bit of data that can enter the mind becomes the thoughts of the person. The thoughts of the person will then influence the behaviors of the individual. These behaviors become the character of the person after a period. The character of a person attracts other people of like-mindedness which become a society. The creation of a society does not matter if it is in physical or digital form because it is about how the group interacts. This is how societal boxes are formed. If you Google stereotypes about various ethnicities you will find there have been boxes created for all people to fit. There are videos on YouTube of people outside the US making statements about the white people in the country all being rich and having “white privilege”. There are beliefs for every type of person based on anything from the color of their skin to their geographic customs to any other identifiable trait for a culture. These are all boxes created through misinformation, bias, racism, nationalism, and other ways people create to limit others. The truth is that every human is an individual who has unique capabilities, strengths, values, and other assets that makes them valuable to our world society. The boxes we allow ourselves to be placed in are not created to make us better, they are created to contain us mentally to our full potential. People in the world believe if only they were Americans they could be successful. People in America believe if only I had that Lamborghini I would be happy. People in trailer parks believe that if only I lived in a certain neighborhood I will have made it. These are all just more boxes that we move our minds into to enslave our true selves. You can achieve anything that you are willing to sacrifice to get. Everyone consuming these words can be a doctor if you take the steps required to do it. Doctors are not smarter than you, they are more highly trained than you. Doctors are more dedicated to competing their tasks than you. This does not make them better they just took the opportunities they were given then completed it. Doctors could envision themselves being a surgeon because of the role models that surrounded them growing up. I have a client that has eight kids who are all in school to become doctors because their mother and father were both doctors. These kids could see themselves achieving it because they were shown by role models it is possible. Their box of what was possible was well within the doctor-centric sphere. Conversely, young black males in the ghettos of the US can see the drug dealers every day. These young men can see the money the rappers flaunt on videos. They see one of their own “making it rain” all over town from these negative opportunities making them believe that is all that is possible. Their box is not a positive influence. This box is one of oppression created by the role models who wish to sell them the drugs or have them buy their albums. The truth is that those young men in the second example are just as capable as the first to become doctors, scientists, and even President of the United States. The path requires sacrifice. The path is not as easy as the family whose parents were already doctors. This is just a barrier of the boxes each person is placed by chance when they are born. It is not the truth that they have to live for the rest of their lives. I once read that every child is born a genius and adults instantly set forth to de-geniusize them. This is an example of how we get placed into boxes from our humble beginnings. This is not to be confused the modern societal practice that rewards all kids for just showing up without earning anything. This concept is that all kids can achieve anything that the immediate role models around them show them is possible. If all kids are shown is rap music and drug dealers as the primary role models then do not be surprised when they all become one of those examples. However, if they are shown they can be anything they spend a significant amount of time training to be then they can become doctors. The welfare mindset that has set in for today’s society can only be overcome by retraining our minds with positive examples of what is possible. I know this because I was one of those poor kids who was shown only illegal activities as an example. It took me joining the military then being shown leadership training to change the core values that I held and in turn changed my life’s path. I was not forever enslaved to my box, even though many times in my life it felt like I was. I broke out of my box only after spending a significant amount of time training. It was military training that gave me new core values, discipline, and role models to look up to for positive change. The changes were not immediate, however. This is where many people fail because the expectation is that if you buy the infomercial product, book, gold chain, or Lamborghini then you will instantly be successful. This materialistic approach is due to the degradation of efforts that social media has created where rappers, porn stars, and other criminals are given gigantic platforms where they are rewarded for keeping people’s minds in slavery. Changing your station in life is a process that requires work. Think of it in the same process that farmers use to create crops. You must plant seeds through study that change your thoughts. Then you must tend the fields, your mind, like the farmer does with water, fertilizer, and de-weeding. You will use the knowledge gained to change your behaviors leading to a change in character. Only then after your season of work is over you can enjoy the harvests of your investments. Nothing of value is ever free. You must invest time into being the best you that you can be if you want to be successful. This will mean that every box that society has placed on you will require massive actions to break free. There is no barrier that prevents any person from being successful. These boxes are designed to hold you back, to create doubt, and keep you on the lowest level. The reality you must realize is that it is all a giant lie created by people who have given up on their dreams and seek to keep you from achieving as well. Stop making excuses. Stop blaming other races. Stop blaming the government. Stop blaming society. Stop blaming your family. Stop making the excuses you are using to create your own box. You are the very thing that is holding yourself back. You have not put in the work in the proper places to move yourself forward. You are making excuses to justify why you cannot make goals to destroy every box that is placed in front of you. Get out of your own way and get to work. Run Now! Run Towards Success! Run Towards Your Fears! And reap the benefits of not allowing yourself to be placed in a box ever again!
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Ellis Franks conducts training & seminars for organizations looking to promote positive role models within their community. The training includes methods for promoting role models within your organization, breaking stereotypes of being a role model, and personal mentorship for achievers who want to give back to their communities. Contact us today to set up an appointment to find out more info.
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